Socks have been around for a long time. They were used at least as far back as ancient Egypt (and were even worn with sandals; go figure). They’ve gone through a lot of changes through the centuries, not really starting to take the shape we’re familiar with until the 20th century. These days, most people take them for granted and use them without a second thought about how they look or feel.
That’s not you, though. You choose your socks like one of them is hiding a winning lottery ticket, and you wear them as proudly as if they granted you superpowers. You regard socks with the dignity they deserve. The question is, just how hooked are you on the fuzzy footwear? Here are six signs your sock habit may need an intervention.
You Ask Santa for Socks
Back in the day, socks and stockings were used as a status symbol and giving them as a gift was seen as a grand generosity. That significance may have faded for most, but not for you. While other kids complained about opening a present only to find socks, you rejoiced as if it was your favorite toy. To this day, you still jump for joy when you find cozy stockings in your stocking.
You’ve Hired a PI to Find Your Lost Socks
When the average person loses a matching sock, they chalk it up to the common misfortunes of life and buy a new pair. Not you. A sock missing its mate is an insult, and you retaliate with all the energy of a personal vendetta. You overturn the whole house, refusing to rest until balance has been restored to the universe. After all, how could you possibly carry on without your favorite pair of socks?
You Have Socks to Match Specific Outfits and Occasions
The uninitiated sock-wearer buys a bland pair, and uses it for everything. You, however, know better. Like Batman’s utility belt, you’re prepared for every eventuality, with socks that really pull things together. Everything from a breakfast date with friends to a pair to match the outfit you’ll wear to adopt a kitten, you have what you need.
Your Sock “Preferences” Sound More Like Mandates
Everyone has their own personal tastes, pet peeves, and a way of doing things they like best. So do you. It’s just that, while others can put up with a sub-standard pair, or a pair with the wrong amount of ankle coverage, you have to have your socks just right. Like Queen Elizabeth of old, you want your socks to make you feel like royalty, and anything less than perfection simply won’t do.
You Own Holiday Socks for Each Holiday
Some people get into the holiday spirit with Halloween costumes and Christmas sweaters. You prefer to take the holidays with you wherever you tread with festive foot sleeves. From Cupid Day to Turkey Day, you’re ready to strut your stuff in true holiday style.
Your Sock Collection Resembles a Dragon’s Hoard
In the end, there’s one true way to tell if you’re addicted to socks, and that’s simply to gaze at your overflowing sock drawer. Chances are, you’re prepared to claim a good pair no matter where you see it, and by any means necessary. If that means pilfering it from a friend or a spouse (who, let’s be honest, doesn’t need it like you do), so be it. You’re also much more territorial over your collection than they probably are, only reluctantly surrendering any of your precious podiatric purchases.
If any of the above apply to you, then it’s possible you have an unconventional craving for socks. The bad news is, there is no cure. The good news is, we know a place that can help keep your cravings at bay.
And remember, if you love socks, you’re in good company.